So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
