Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize