Do vagina's smell?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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