The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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