Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize