her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
