I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
