You're so nebulous sometimes
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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