when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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