I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
