he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
