I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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