she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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