We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
