you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
