too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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