Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize