Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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