eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
