Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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