just tell him i said nine months
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
