What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
