Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
