i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize