is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
