But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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