bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize