dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
