your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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