I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
