you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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