I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
