Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize