neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
