i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize