Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
