last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize