You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
