who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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