Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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