no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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