I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
God, you're like boner-b-gone
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
