I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
