I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
