Already got asked if we're dating
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize