I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
