I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
