My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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