You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You need Xanax blowdarts
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
