I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
