So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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