I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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