Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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