I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
