y did u give ur computer a hand job?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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