Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
