would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
