I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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