So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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