Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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