Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have aggressive nipples.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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